too, too long...

I feel like I should apologize for my long absence... but, honestly? I've been quite busy. I'm juggling with being an intern at the Tacoma Art Museum and working at a pet shop part time.

Life's been... going. I'm making plans for my next jump at school and even considering into enlisting into the Air Force. I need change, and I need it before I get too old for "reasons" why I'm still a townie in Tacoma.

To be honest...
Deviantart leaves a bitter taste in my mouth each time I go on it. This place reminds me of a few people I don't really want to be "refreshed" about. I'd rather leave them in my dust and continue on moving forward. (and if you're reading this, and suspect this parts about you, you're still a f*cking psycho brat. You single-handedly made me realize how drawing and living anime/manga is disgusting and pointless when it comes to art.) (so, thank you for making me realize this.)

I'm stopping with the anime. It hasn't made my portfolio look better nor has it challenged me as an artist. I see it as mindless copying when I doodle Naruto characters or any other misc. characters.

I remember a time when I was interested in going to DigiPen up in Redmond WA. I was sitting there getting grilled by this lady telling me I can't use up space like sh*t/how crappy my drawings were. When I noticed the girl a table down being critiqued was being grilled on how "Anime isn't going to take you anywhere..." Apparently, her whole sketch book was filled with anime-style art.

The critic wasn't necessarily being mean, but he was telling the girl the truth. He brought up points like: "Where do you think you'll be successful by drawing anime in North America?" "The only viable place to earn even a possible career out of this style is in Japan." The truth hurt. I felt the daggers and sting of reality from his words slamming into the girl's dreams and a few ricocheted towards me.

Ever since then, I was reassessing my whole style. I remember there was a time I actually had one, before I discovered Anime. After discovering anime, I went into the dark ages of creativity. Nothing fresh, nothing good came out of that phase. Sure, I can draw squirtle over and over, but it never improved or added onto my skills as an artist.

I guess this would explain partially why I haven't been drawing at all. My creativity has been in a slump and drawing hasn't been fun lately.

They say your creativity peaks at age 23... have I run out of time to find my own style? Ugh.

Anyway, anybody good at shading/coloring? I need somebody to be my partner in crime for some epic team up work.

q out.